this on the lead singer of Owl City's blog.
And I don't want to lose it, because I fell in love with some more Word.
“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives it's name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all of the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge— that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” -Ephesians 3:14-21
YES LORD. ULTIMATE WIN AT LIFE. YOU IS.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Galatians 6:17
"Quite frankly, I don't want to be bothered anymore by these disputes. I have far more important things to do— the serious living of this faith. I bear in my body scars from my service to Jesus."
I want to note that...
last night I dreamt of Tayler Haviland.
I haven't had a dream about him in a long time.
It was such a good one though.
I can't recall where exactly we were, but we were semi fancy.
And in a super not fancy place in a deserty like area.
I remember sand getting on my fancy look and not caring at all.
We were at some kind of something for someone.
But I can't remember any more about the event than that.
And then after the event, we were hanging out.
And I remember I had to stop home to change- at some weird home that I've never actually been to in my life.
And I swear we drove to my house together, but then he drove up in some mega sweet ride awhile later.
I don't know.
Writing about this well over 12 hours after it happened in my mind is a tough thing to do.
But I don't want to forget it.
Because I have pictures in my mind of what things looked like.
And if I write down something, chances are these pictures won't be gone forever.
That's all.
I haven't had a dream about him in a long time.
It was such a good one though.
I can't recall where exactly we were, but we were semi fancy.
And in a super not fancy place in a deserty like area.
I remember sand getting on my fancy look and not caring at all.
We were at some kind of something for someone.
But I can't remember any more about the event than that.
And then after the event, we were hanging out.
And I remember I had to stop home to change- at some weird home that I've never actually been to in my life.
And I swear we drove to my house together, but then he drove up in some mega sweet ride awhile later.
I don't know.
Writing about this well over 12 hours after it happened in my mind is a tough thing to do.
But I don't want to forget it.
Because I have pictures in my mind of what things looked like.
And if I write down something, chances are these pictures won't be gone forever.
That's all.
two weeks notice,
i could put you in tomorrow and that would make my last official day Friday, May 13th.
the question is, am i ballzy enough to really do it?
D:
D:
D:
the question is, am i ballzy enough to really do it?
D:
D:
D:
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
i don't know how i feel about my new boss.
i don't want to be done at journeys.
for socks.
and i don't want to no longer enjoy it there.
oh rachel, i miss you.
and it's only been twenty four hours.
for socks.
and i don't want to no longer enjoy it there.
oh rachel, i miss you.
and it's only been twenty four hours.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
speaking of products...
that i have yet to see...
i was also thinking about some kind of little black light up board to go in each high school class room. they have em at my church in the big room, so when a parent's child starts acting up in the nursery, they can flash the kids number on there without being a disruption.
but this would completely eliminate the whole "office passes" thing. some office workers job would be to type the student's name on their, which office, and the time, and it'd be perfect.
not to mention, this would also save us paper.
sounds like a good plan to me, why doesn't it exist then?
i was also thinking about some kind of little black light up board to go in each high school class room. they have em at my church in the big room, so when a parent's child starts acting up in the nursery, they can flash the kids number on there without being a disruption.
but this would completely eliminate the whole "office passes" thing. some office workers job would be to type the student's name on their, which office, and the time, and it'd be perfect.
not to mention, this would also save us paper.
sounds like a good plan to me, why doesn't it exist then?
mass produce.
i hate when i have these awesome dreams of products that within dream world are cool everyday things. and then i wake up and i realize how awesome it all was but when i fully reach reality, i see that the stuff doesn't even exist. and it bothers me. i wish i could draw the stuff in my head and mass produce these things.
what kinds of things am i talking about? oh, let's see here, square spiraled notebooks, because sometimes the circular thing gets annoying and it gives your folder or binder that extra bump verses a flat surface. or a product like gauges, where they don't start out round, but instead star shaped, or the shape of a letter or number, and you start at a 14 or 12g with one of those and go bigger from there.
why doesn't this stuff exist in reality yet? when does my mind become reality? i'm tired of seeing cool things and then waking up without them.
even last night for instance, there were these super cool high tops, but get this, they didn't have eyelets or laces. the whole shoe was rubber, canvas, and whatever the bottoms of Chucks have on them. and the canvas wasn't like the canvas of slip on vans. it was more of a thick sweatshirt material.. and the print on it was Ariel from the little mermaid (which speaking of, i've never actually seen the entire movie, so i don't know why this show was so cool in my dream last night) - like ankle to toe was her face and that bright red hair.. and then her little yellow fish friend (hate me for not knowing his/her name too) and for some reason, it was really pretty. Then at the top of the shoe, the part up around the ankle had cute little white draw strings hanging out. i don't think they had any purpose other than lookin' good. but every thing has something just for looks; it's kinda been born into society now.
what kinds of things am i talking about? oh, let's see here, square spiraled notebooks, because sometimes the circular thing gets annoying and it gives your folder or binder that extra bump verses a flat surface. or a product like gauges, where they don't start out round, but instead star shaped, or the shape of a letter or number, and you start at a 14 or 12g with one of those and go bigger from there.
why doesn't this stuff exist in reality yet? when does my mind become reality? i'm tired of seeing cool things and then waking up without them.
even last night for instance, there were these super cool high tops, but get this, they didn't have eyelets or laces. the whole shoe was rubber, canvas, and whatever the bottoms of Chucks have on them. and the canvas wasn't like the canvas of slip on vans. it was more of a thick sweatshirt material.. and the print on it was Ariel from the little mermaid (which speaking of, i've never actually seen the entire movie, so i don't know why this show was so cool in my dream last night) - like ankle to toe was her face and that bright red hair.. and then her little yellow fish friend (hate me for not knowing his/her name too) and for some reason, it was really pretty. Then at the top of the shoe, the part up around the ankle had cute little white draw strings hanging out. i don't think they had any purpose other than lookin' good. but every thing has something just for looks; it's kinda been born into society now.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
wrote this to you, when should i send it?
4/7/2011
To you and only you-
I know you've told people that I've ditched you. Frankly, that's only partially true. I was raised learning never to change who you are for someone elses benefit. I know you probably hate me, and this note will only add to it. But you've hated me once, you can hate me now, and chances are, you'll hate me again. I've never had a friend like you. By that I mean, someone who is no longer close to me because I have too many flaws for them to handle.
But back to me ditching you, do you not realize what you said to me? Do you not know that you basically slapped me a bajillion times over and over? I stood there and took the punches and the thing that hurt the most, is that if I wouldn't have stopped replying, they would have just kept on coming. It was almost as if I was your punching bag and you envisioned the person you hate most (which I guess is/was me) and you just kept throwing. I gave nothing back. Nothing. I was still but they just kept coming. Do you not know how much that hurts? Because I don't even know what I did to you, but maybe that's where I fall- lacking full understanding.
"I rarely show interest in anything.
My ambition is shot.
I'm harshly blunt.
I don't consider most people's feelings and it doesn't bother me.
I am aware of how I come off to others and it doesn't even affect me.
I look bored all of the time.
I'm argumentative and it is exhausting to others.
I criticize you for who you are dating.
I don't care about anyone's reactions to anything.
I couldn't love my God more personally, because I am unable to love my own neghbors first."
I changed what you said to me as if I was saying it about myself. Maybe you've lost all cares for this and about me, but knowing you, you haven't. You don't just stop thinking about stuff, and I once enjoyed that about you.
I wish just once you would have considered these things you said. I wish you would have realized what they did to me that night, that week. I wish I could show you that you're the only person from this city that I stayed in touch with over the course of high school. I wish you could see where I was coming from and what I was and am going through. I wish you could have understood and loved me anyways.
If losing you has done anything to me aside from cause hurt, it's shown me love. God's love. It's brought God's loving nature down. He still loves you. And I pray everyday that He still loves me. And that He'll always save me. Because as a human being, I need a hell of a lot of saving.
That is all.
Love me and only me.
To you and only you-
I know you've told people that I've ditched you. Frankly, that's only partially true. I was raised learning never to change who you are for someone elses benefit. I know you probably hate me, and this note will only add to it. But you've hated me once, you can hate me now, and chances are, you'll hate me again. I've never had a friend like you. By that I mean, someone who is no longer close to me because I have too many flaws for them to handle.
But back to me ditching you, do you not realize what you said to me? Do you not know that you basically slapped me a bajillion times over and over? I stood there and took the punches and the thing that hurt the most, is that if I wouldn't have stopped replying, they would have just kept on coming. It was almost as if I was your punching bag and you envisioned the person you hate most (which I guess is/was me) and you just kept throwing. I gave nothing back. Nothing. I was still but they just kept coming. Do you not know how much that hurts? Because I don't even know what I did to you, but maybe that's where I fall- lacking full understanding.
"I rarely show interest in anything.
My ambition is shot.
I'm harshly blunt.
I don't consider most people's feelings and it doesn't bother me.
I am aware of how I come off to others and it doesn't even affect me.
I look bored all of the time.
I'm argumentative and it is exhausting to others.
I criticize you for who you are dating.
I don't care about anyone's reactions to anything.
I couldn't love my God more personally, because I am unable to love my own neghbors first."
I changed what you said to me as if I was saying it about myself. Maybe you've lost all cares for this and about me, but knowing you, you haven't. You don't just stop thinking about stuff, and I once enjoyed that about you.
I wish just once you would have considered these things you said. I wish you would have realized what they did to me that night, that week. I wish I could show you that you're the only person from this city that I stayed in touch with over the course of high school. I wish you could see where I was coming from and what I was and am going through. I wish you could have understood and loved me anyways.
If losing you has done anything to me aside from cause hurt, it's shown me love. God's love. It's brought God's loving nature down. He still loves you. And I pray everyday that He still loves me. And that He'll always save me. Because as a human being, I need a hell of a lot of saving.
That is all.
Love me and only me.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
4.3.11
Nothing is going to change.
Nothing is going to be okay.
Temporarily.
Long term.
Everything is going to change.
Everything is going to be all right.
One day.
I hope.
Nothing is going to be okay.
Temporarily.
Long term.
Everything is going to change.
Everything is going to be all right.
One day.
I hope.
Friday, April 1, 2011
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